After we practice less desire wholeheartedly and consistently, something shifts. We feel less desire in the sense of being less solidly seduced by our Very Important Story Lines. So even if the hot loneliness is there, and for 1.6 seconds we sit with that restlessness when yesterday we couldn’t sit for even one, that’s the journey of the warrior. That’s the path of bravery.
–Pema Chodron, from When Things Fall Apart (p.56)
Another aspect of cool loneliness is not seeking security from one’s discursive thoughts. The rug’s been pulled; the jig is up; there is no way to get out of this one! We don’t even seek the companionship of our own constant conversation with ourselves about how it is and how it isn’t, whether it is or whether it is isn’t, whether is should or whether it shouldn’t, whether it can or whether it can’t. With cool loneliness we do not expect security from our own internal chatter. That’s why we are instructed to label it ‘thinking.’ It has no objective reality. It is transplanted and ungraspable. We’re encouraged to just touch that chatter and let it go, not make much ado about nothing.
–Pema Chodron, from When Things Fall Apart (p.59)